It’s all about phrasing. The sentence, “Why the hell didn’t you attack?” and, “I think you should have attacked, what happened?” mean the same thing, but have vastly different tones. Being a dick doesn't make people listen to you, it makes them ignore you.
Competition between gamers seems to drive them to anger. And not just anger towards opponents, but anger towards teammates as well. Competition even makes its viewers rage towards each other at times, but I think this is more common among fans of physical sports games then video games.
Competition should be fun, especially for the viewers. If anger is your reaction to a game, then maybe that game isn’t for you.